Finding Passion for Giving Back

This time of year has most of us thinking about how to give back. We become more aware of just how many people are in need – from our own communities – to those around the world. When you really try to take it all in – it can become overwhelming – almost paralyzing. So many choices – so much need. But we do our best – give what we can. We give our money. We give our time. And all of it matters, no matter how much or how little. But the desire to give more – to make a bigger difference – finds its’ voice in the that semi-conscious state as we finally crush into our familiar pillow – whispering gratitude for the life that’s only a heartbreak away from ‘them’.

I’m incredibly grateful to have been brought up with mindfulness for those less fortunate – putting pennies in the paper fold-up box that sat on our dining room table during lent – choosing an ornament from the advent tree with an age and desired gift to be brought back by the end of the season – our family gifting Christmas every year to another family less fortunate that was in or near our community. All extremely impactful. Especially when considering that we were probably one month’s salary from the flip-side of that giving and receiving equation. I imagine that’s probably the case for most of us.

And as the years flow by, our lives are touched by more and more causes and charities and areas of the populace that need our love and time and financial support. And if you’re anything like me – I try to give to as many as I can – spreading my dime with hopes of responding to as many needs as possible. And along the way, even upping my game with focused spurts of increased fundraising for Autism, Down’s Syndrome, Pediatric Cancer, so many cancers, AIDS – causes that have hit closest to home.

But I’ve continued to search for the thing, the cause, the charity that will propel me to go bigger – to make more money – not because I need it personally – but because it is affords the time and the energy to raise money for those who do. The kind of thing that makes you want to get up and get to work when you’re exhausted. A passion to help others for sure – but also – a passion to help others whose experience is one that resonates down to your depths – because that’s the stuff, the personal stake, that creates movement, awareness, momentum. Many of you – my family, my friends – you have already found that – or perhaps it’s better stated that it has found you – and your determination to make a difference with those unique challenges is of huge inspiration to me. I crusade alongside you. I shout and cheer and try to help as best I can. But something inside me continues to search out the ‘thing’ that is mine. That I feel resolute ownership of. And it turns out that grief – loss – even being a widower at a relatively young age – does not hold within it, the fire to proactively fight for others.

Very early on in our relationship, a common desire to give back was one of the things that assured me I was with the right guy in Dennis. But it’s the ongoing conversation of finding something for which we are both fiercely passionate that breathes new, much-awaited inspiration into our present and future. I’m also incredibly grateful to be aligned with a company that prides itself in giving back, defining success by how many lives can be positively affected – inspiration that links me to the same awareness that was cultivated throughout my childhood.

Today felt like a big step in the right direction. With the help of many clients and friends, for which I am insanely grateful, I delivered over $1000 in personal care products, as well as a sizeable cash donation from Dennis’s salon, to Youth Empowerment Performance Project (YEPP), whose mission is “to create a safe environment for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer youth experiencing homelessness to explore their history, investigate new ways to address their struggles and to celebrate their strengths through the process of developing a theatrical performance piece.” Only time will tell where this will lead, but it deeply resonates on many levels. I was given a tour by the founder with warmth and humor and kindness, explaining how they function on a day to day basis – how far they’ve come as a grassroots organization – and where there are still many needs to be met – I saw the common areas, kitchen, bathrooms, space used for rehearsal by day, where mattresses are laid by night.

I won’t go into the statistics of these youth experiencing homelessness (another lesson in the personage coming before the defining characteristic), but it has most definitely roused the advocate in me – one that has always been there, but truthfully has been too silent for too many years. To witness the growing acceptance of the gay and lesbian populace (despite our current political leadership) is something beautiful and long overdue – and I’m incredibly grateful to live in a city where I feel free to be who I am and not worry about violent attack. But let us not be pacified by that progress when there are others in our community that desperately need us to open our arms wider. I continue to stand proudly as a member of the LGBTQIA community – and will do my best to ensure that each and every one of us has the opportunity to work and live and love in a safe and nurturing environment, free from judgement, ridicule and violence.

So many needs. So much to think about. And we each only have only so much to give. But all of us are needed – the crusaders – the givers – whether it’s our time or our money or both. All we can do is our individual best. And I share this particular journey with you, in part because I’d love to shine a light on this organization, but mostly for the accountability it provides me to stay focused and not lose sight of what is most important. Advocating with full heart! I encourage the same full-hearted advocacy for each of you with whatever or whomever resonates most. But even if you feel as I felt for so long – still searching – please know how much your journey is needed and valued and admired. Continue to give voice to wherever you are on your path. Your passion to give back will never be lost.